free choice


my friend told me that in
his part of ireland when
someone gives you something
for free like when someone
buys you a round of drinks they say
you get it for choice because
choice is free

if i walked by you on the street
and didn’t see you would you
stop me yell my name say
hey it’s me?
you probably wouldn’t, no,
because you don’t even have
the balls to tell me when
you’ll be around and for that
i sort of admire you
and yet still feel sad at the
choice you’ve made
you had your getoutofjailfree
card with me and still you
chose to pretend it wasn’t there

i can read between the lines
of your eeeee-mails and i can feel
what you really want to say
i know that you know that i know
that you’re here,
not so far away now compared to
sixty-nine minutes twenty-four
seconds and a few millis
at least i chose truth, i say

i told my friend that told me
about free choice that if
a belief system is killing him
more than helping him then
get rid of it because martyrs
are only bunch of people, dead
i don’t want to die this way or your way
so i chose living freely
bound only by my own thoughts

my friend said, “i let his words
control me and i was weak”
and i understood oh so well
you were squeezing my brain
and i don’t even think you knew it
with every brain squeeze brain freeze
i remember better the squeeze of my hip
against yours and how you pressed
me for more information than i
was willing to give
then you left you came back
you left back came

it’s easier to think of you as
a mindless philandering bastard
but i know in my gut this
isn’t you, it’s only a choice i
make freely to stop myself
from wondering if i walked by
you would you stop grab my arm
and say it’s me?


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